Learning Curves

So did I fool anyone???? Well, it is just an old picture of my little Chirpee! We are still waiting around here. Tonight Deereandy moved Chirp's bed over and we reassembled the crib in the corner of his room for new munchkin. Chirp thought it was such a ball! He had a very hard time calming down to sleep with the new bedroom arrangement. I told him that when "baby comes out" baby will nap in the crib. Everyday he asks when mommy's "timer" is going to go off and I wistfully tell him I don't know and wish I knew! I am not sure that he even remembers the crib which surprised me as it hasn't been so long ago that we took it down (late July?).

I've spent the past two weeks with a lot of false labour which has proved to be more of a trial than I ever thought it would be. With each new symptom and progression I've been surfing around online and have found a lot of advice and opinions about things that are quite contradictory, but everyone of them seem so confident in their knowledge. Just goes to show that there is so much we really don't know. I have managed to stumble onto a few good resources, though, that use a lot of research base for their opinions. I can at least respect the fact that they are trying to be informed about birth.

I am now 37 weeks by my EDD (estimated date of delivery) and 39 weeks by my doctor's. I think this is the last time I'll mention the doctor's as I plan on putting my foot down (with the help of Deereandy) about keeping my due date. What is the big deal one might ask. Well, I have this little scar down low on my belly that puts me at risk for a repeat Cesarean delivery as well as a uterine rupture. These have both been proven (depending on what study you trust!) to be increased in a birth that was induced with prostaglandins. As to "natural" induction methods, I question whether tis much better to naturally force something that will happen on its own given time. It isn't as if a woman carries around a baby forever because of her physician's failure to induce her labour. Funny how we treat pregnancy like a disease.

That said, it is easy to treat pregnancy as a disease when I line up all of my physical complaints and difficulties. There was never a promise that birth would be easy, though. Only a promise that pregnancy and birth will be a trial for women. Genesis 3:16 - "To the woman he said, I will greatly increase thy travail and thy pregnancy; with pain thou shalt bear children" (Darby T)

But I take comfort in the love and care of the Lord during this time. There is no other comfort to be found. There is nowhere I can flee from his presence, there is nowhere I can hide, he hems me in; behind and before, he is familiar with all my ways! Just as he knew me and my days before he made me, he knows the life and times of this little one as well. He is here to be my daily help, caregiver, provider and the shepherd that leads me safely. My verse for this pregnancy is from Isaiah 40:11 "He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs in his arms and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young." The next three verses are also ones that I will carry with me into my labour as they are reminders of the greatness and incomprehesible-ness of God! "Who hath measured the waters in the hollow of his hand and meted out heaven with the span and comprehended the dust of the earth in a measure and weighed the mountains in scales and the hills in a balance? Who hath directed the Spirit of the Lord, or being his counsellor hath taught him? With whom took he counsel, and who instructed him, and taught him in the path of judgement, and taught him knowledge and showed him the way of understanding?" KJV

I'm thinking I'll have to get my midwife certification after this birth with all that I've learned since being pregnant this time around. I've really become a "granola" about the whole thing. I'm still not "crunchy" enough that I'm meditating or sending positive vibes to my body, though. I just felt that I should clarify that.

So as overwhelming as the thought of going overdue is to me right now (especially as I've become so uncomfortable and function on a very low level), I struggle to just take this one day at a time and try not to get wrapped up in the "what if" scenarios. This is difficult as I especially like to be up on top of all the possible outcomes. There is a part of me that deals better with the twists and turns that "life throws" at you the more I make a game plan. But I also know there is a time to stop going over every scenario in my head and just trust the Lord is able and willing to provide for every detail - he knows me best after all!

I'm fast losing my curves the last few days and becoming one overwhelming curve. I am putting on the baby these days at a rapid pace! That should help clarify the last word in this post's title!