**Number 2 in a series regarding my history and thoughts on depression. If you missed the first post, click here**
**This series on depression will be written as if I am writing to a Christian audience, which I know is not the case for every reader. I want to give a real insight into my thoughts on it and since I am not only someone who has had depression, but am a lover of the Lord Jesus, the two will be interspersed here. I am not giving expert medical advice regarding depression.** END DISCLAIMER :)
Let us distinguish between my grief, depression and clinical depression. All three are separate, but can also be present concurrently.
When I was in my early twenties I went through an acute loss of a very special relationship. There was a time of deep grief that ensued, but all the while, I knew I was not in a clinical state of depression. It was healthy, normal, terrible grief. Many mornings I didn't feel like it was physically possible to pull myself out of bed, I hardly ate all day, lost 10lbs, felt a tearing loss in my heart. All of these things were a trial, but in none of it did I feel the black hand of a depression over me. I was desperate for help and found it in the comfort of God's word and in the presence of his Holy Spirit within me.
It was a time of experiencing the "refiner's fire" and that time is a treasure to me now. I was filled to the brim with joy and experienced such a depth of sorrow as I have not experienced again since; simultaneously. This was grieving God's way and I knew it.
Everyone has experienced some bouts of depression in their lives - in this world it is absolutely inescapable. There are many ways in which to escape it, that said. Many turn to alcohol or drugs to numb their minds and disappointments. Some turn towards earnestly seeking pleasure - sex, food, adventure, religious activity or relationships. Some choose to take their cares and disappointments to God and experience the redemptive power of his Word in their lives; The truth that supersedes all emotion and feelings.
These moments and days pass and the sun seems to rise upon new horizons that promise better things. This depression in a normal part of a fallen man's experience. It makes us aware that all is not right in this world, that we are weak and this is a dying flesh we live in; a dying world. These are things that also can draw us to the One who created us and longs to fill us with joy! And oh! How much joy he can give!
I would call the above depression an adjective that portrays a state of mind.
Then there is clinical depression. It follows along the lines of the complete mind body connection. It is a despair or depression that is so complete it is concurrent with a myriad of physical symptoms. Which came first the chicken or the egg? Well, that is the question here, but I do not think you can point to one or the other as the sole initiator.
The brain is an organ that can have ailments just like the rest of our bodies. If my pancreas, liver, kidneys, etc. can suffer stress and dysfunction, my brain can as well. And because it is the brain, there is a myriad of symptoms that can accompany. I won't go into that, but if you are interested there is plenty of information here as to the physical and social risk factors and symptoms of depression.
I have quite a few of the risk factors as I am sure probably everyone has at least one. Of course, that doesn't mean we will all go through a clinical case of depression in our life. That list of risk factors I published leaves out an area that science is just not well versed in and that is spiritual warfare. I am sure that some with no risk factors could also experience a case of depression just based on their walk with God and the attacks that the enemy is allowed to throw. Some of it just boils down to plain old sin on our part. There is evidence in scripture of physical ailments that are related to willful sin in a Christian's life.
I have heard many offhand remarks from other believer's in Christ disregarding clinical depression as a symptom of not trusting in the Lord to care for them, neglecting their walk with the Lord or just plain old wallowing in self-pity. I sense a spiritual pride in those remarks, a lack of knowledge and sensitivity as well. I also know the remarks can be applied in part to the problem of depression as they are a problem all humans can suffer from.
The problem with these ideas are that they are easy to label a person with when you have not struggled with clinical depression before. But it oversimplifies the problem and does nothing to help out the brother or sister with the problem.
The next entry I hope to get into my struggle over processing just how to process my spiritual responsibility to "take every thought captive to obedience to Christ" and the conflict over my physical ability to do so.
1 comment:
Hi again Jaime,
It's very easy when you have never dealt with depression to label someone who is struggling or to suppose she should simply pull herself up by the bootstraps. We both know that doesn't work. Perhaps being open about it all will eventually help other believers to realize that we are subject to the same difficulties as the rest of the world. Oversimplification or making the assumption that Christians shouldn't have to deal with these things just doesn't help. Regardless, I hope the sky is blue for you a little more often than it has been.
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